


Love is you

by delorita



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Missing Scene, POV First Person, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delorita/pseuds/delorita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: I just want something where Fili's emotional needs are put first. There are a lot of fics where Fili is the super understanding big brother who always takes care of Kili and any pain he might be feeling is "less important", so I want one where the strain catches up with him, or maybe this one time he's hurting too much to put Kili first and he needs someone to put him first for once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is you

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I borrowed the title and I was inspired by one of my beautiful oldish favourite songs from Thomas Godoj. Song with lyrics is here <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-SucBExHHs>
> 
> Again, thank YOU [](http://loves-books.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://loves-books.livejournal.com/)**loves_books** for the beta. You deserve a medall!!

I’ve always wanted my big brother to be happy, always wanted to see him smile, to fool around with me, whether it was in pretended battles as little dwarflings, or later when we’d grown up, while making love.

Today my heart goes out to him and I can see how he’s pulling himself together to not show any weakness, to support us all, to help us climb down that steep mountain, to find the right place to take a rest.

The battle with the Goblins was fierce and pushed us all to the very edges of our strength. The worry for Thorin made us freeze until he finally got up after Gandalf hovered over him and embraced Bilbo, making him one of us.

++++

“I love you.” I whisper into my brother’s ear when I join him, sitting forlornly a bit away from the company, smoking his pipe, eyes closed. I’ve brought him a bowl of soup but he shakes his head and refuses it.

“You need to eat something.” I murmur but let him be, setting the food aside. I settle against the tree trunk and I half pull him down to rest his head on my thigh, though he half falls down on his own.

I start to caress my finger tips across his forehead in an attempt to smooth the frown away and he sighs, his eyes sliding closed again and he hands me his pipe. I smoke silently for a few moments, my hand outlining his beautiful features, slowly and carefully. Starting with his forehead I move across his temples, eyebrows and closed lids, his cheeks. I bend to tenderly put my lips against the tip of his nose, murmuring, “I love you,” again since I’m getting the feeling he needs to hear it today as often as I can say it.

He fumbles with my half glove and pulls it off, then cranes his neck, opening his eyes slowly. I let my finger tips caress his moustache, his beard. A gasp escapes me when I see the moisture in his eyes. His Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, not able to say anything.

“Oh brother,” I bend awkwardly to caress his lips with mine for a few moments, before I dare to ask with the tip of my tongue to go deeper, to kiss him fully.

He shuffles upwards a bit and I lay the pipe aside to cradle him in my arms. His fingers tangle in my hair as he starts to kiss me hard and desperate, tongue devouring my mouth as though he’s searching for something, and I let him. I try to soothe the desperation with gentle sure strokes of my tongue against his, with my forefinger gently twirling his moustache braid then sliding towards the tip of his ear, into the mass of blonde hair. His hand grabs my locks fiercely and I don’t mind but I try to be gentle, soothing, massaging his scalp.

The urgency of his kiss vanishes with every tender stroke I apply and Fili gets calmer, the breath through his nose coming more evenly. I smile into the kiss, making it sloppy, pulling away a bit and sliding my tongue in a broad stripe across his lips, my hand across his arm and onto his chest, feeling it rise and fall steadily.

He breaks the kiss and we stare at each other in the moonlight, his blue eyes like dark velvet. He mutters, “I’m sorry,” and I shake my head, my forefinger taking up the caressing of his beard again.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Fee. I’ve got you.”

At this moment Fili’s stomach decides to growl loudly and he rolls his eyes.

“I’ve got an idea.” I try to keep the mood light and shove him gently off me, leaning him against the tree trunk since his body just doesn’t want to cooperate. Then I reach for the bowl of stew and kneel between his legs. Fili smiles a little, reaching out a hand to push one of my stray strands of hair behind my ear as I taste the soup for him. It’s still warm so I hold the spoon in front of his lips and he hesitantly takes a sip. I see surprise on his face and his tentative smile gets a bit broader.

I feed him several spoonfuls of excellent soup. The Hobbit _IS_ a great cook I have to admit. When I feel Fili’s hand close around my one that’s holding the spoon, I look up and see utter seriousness in my older brother’s eyes again and my heart constricts with worry. I’m about to say something but he speaks first.

“I’m supposed to feed my little brother…” Fili’s voice is rough with emotion.

I caress his knee and say softly, “Not anymore.” I continue my task. “I’ve grown up, you know.” As he starts to shake his head I reach out and hold his chin in a firm grip, my seriousness matching his, “I can take care of myself…” I swallow the lump in my throat, “and of you.”

I set the bowl aside to take his face in both my hands, his beard scratching my palms, “Fee, let me be the big brother whenever you need me to be.” I have trouble getting the words out when he looks at me this vulnerable, his hands grabbing my arms tightly.

I bend forward to kiss him with all the love I feel for him, all the need I have to protect him. At first he hesitates, then he pulls me close and groans into my mouth, starting to surrender, starting to let go and fall into me, accepting my strength.

He breaks the kiss for a moment, to look at me with fondness, “Kili, my big brother,” he sighs and means it when he buries his nose into my cloak and lets himself be held tightly by me, his arms wrapped around my back in such a fierce grip that it’s almost as if I’m pulling him away from drowning.

"Thank you." I hear him mutter and lay my cheek on top of his head, enjoying the softness of his hair and rocking him slightly. We sit like that until his breath evens out and sleep claims him.

 

F I N 


End file.
